


Atrophy

by Silverstreams



Series: Hospice [3]
Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 23:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16753723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverstreams/pseuds/Silverstreams
Summary: "I've been repeating your speeches but the audience just doesn't follow."If Caroline is going to take over Aperture, she needs to understand how to be a good leader.





	Atrophy

**Author's Note:**

> "You've been living awhile in the front of my skull, making orders  
> You've been writing me rules, shrinking maps, redrawing borders  
> I've been repeating your speeches but the audience just doesn't follow  
> Because I'm leaving out words, punctuations and it sounds pretty hollow"  
> -"Atrophy" by The Antlers

The television rolled into the room on creaky wheels. Caroline sat in her usual chair at Cave Johnson's bedside. Cave was propped up in his bed, hospital gown looking rugged but still acceptable.

Caroline rose and put the tape into the Aperture-brand, state-of-the-art VHS player. It was marked simply, "Caroline's Speech, 11/23". With a press of her fingers, she pushed the play button and began the humiliating task of seeing herself on a recording. Her voice always sounded so stupid--so high, too cheery, too different than the tones that she was used to hearing inside her own head.

The two of them watched the entire thing in silence. Caroline glanced over at him, trying to gauge his reaction to it, but he was stone silent the entire time.

"What the hell was that?" he said after it ended, fists clenched at his side.

"It was a speech," said Caroline. She kept her hands folded in her lap.  

"Like hell it was," said Cave.

"Sir, we went over the content of it before I even gave it. You approved it. Remember?"

"I do,” he said. “I'm not talking about what was _in_ the speech--I'm talking about the way that you gave it. I mean, look at your posture.” He wound back the tape a few minutes, pointing out a moment where she was slumped over, looking at her notes. “Leadership. You've got to radiate leadership, Caroline. You've got to put some pep in your step. Straighten up those shoulders. And look people in the eye, for God's sake."

"I tried--"

"You've got to nail these, Caroline. Aperture has a reputation to uphold, and if you're going to try to take over for me someday then you've got to get this right. We don't have the time to dilly dally."

"Sir, I'm doing the best that I can."

"Well your best isn't enough."

The words stung. Caroline looked away for a moment. She always strived to please him, and he always seemed so happy with how she handled things around Aperture. So what was so different this time?

"Speaking of that, why didn't you answer my call today?" Cave said, shifting again in his bed. He paused to give a heavy, thick cough.

"I was busy."

"Sure. Busy," said Cave. "What could you possibly have that's more important than me?"

"With all due respect, sir, like you said, I have a company to run," she said. "That doesn't stop just because you want to talk."

"It wasn't just about that," Cave started. "And why won't you tell me what you were doing?"

"Honestly, sir, it's been a long day. There's a host of things that I could've been doing. All of which were important."

"You were meeting with Black Mesa, weren't you?"

"Sir!"

"That's the only reason I can think of that you'd be lying to me."

"I was not meeting with Black Mesa, I assure you," she said. "I have Aperture to run, and you know that very well."

Cave grunted.

"Well, you're doing a piss poor job of that too," said Cave.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, you're doing a piss poor job of running Aperture. Even I can tell that from down here."

"I'm doing--"

"The best you can. Yeah. I know,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “I just can't help but think, shouldn't you know better by now?"

"What do you mean?"

"After all these years--Christ, it's been what, over thirty years since we opened this place. You think you would've known what it takes to be a successful CEO by now. Didn't all those years at my side mean anything to you? Have you really learned nothing at all?"

Caroline was at a loss for words. "Sir, I never thought--I never expected to be running Aperture. I always thought you'd be around."

"You're lucky I don't get out of this bed and do it myself," Cave said, going through another coughing fit. It was his own fault for working himself up like this. If he simply stayed calm, he wouldn't have as much of a problem. "If you never thought you'd be here, then what was even the point? Why did I bother taking you to all of those events--to all of those conferences--to everything, Caroline. I haven't done a single thing without you at my side, and it's all been for your benefit, not mine."

"I thought--I thought that was just what good assistants did," Caroline said, meekly.

"No," said Cave. "You were special. You are special. Which is why I can't understand why you can't grasp this," he said.

"Of course it meant something, Mr. Johnson," she said. "Of course--I want this," she said, lying.

"I knew it," Cave spat. "You're just a snake, aren't you? Standing by, waiting for me to die so that you can finally get that promotion you've been wanting for years."

"How dare you," said Caroline. She felt like pulling back. "You really think that that's all I care about? Your job? Mr. Johnson, if I wanted your job, I would have had it by now."

"Oh really?"

"Absolutely," Caroline said through clenched teeth. "I've made people disappear before. I could do it again."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Maybe I am. I know you're sick, but--"

"I'm not sick, I'm dying. Let's not dance around the truth. "

"Fine. I know you're dying, but you have to stop acting like this."

"This has nothing to do with me," he said. "You're the one driving this place into the ground."

"You really think that's what I'm doing? I'm trying to save this place, Mr. Johnson,” Caroline said, rising from her chair. “I am busting my ass for you every day, and you never pay attention to that. Instead you're always finding something I did wrong. Something you can nitpick. If this is my reward, then maybe I don't want it."

"You wouldn't," Cave said, his tone dangerous.

"Maybe you're right," said Caroline, her tone a bit too cheerful. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this."

"But Caroline--" Cave said weakly. "You have to be. I'm depending on you."

"And if you're right? If I am driving this place into the ground? What are you going to do, fire me?"

"I would never--"

"Then treat me better," said Caroline.

"Or what?"

"Or I'll leave."

Cave sat in stunned silence. "You wouldn't--"

"I will. Don't test me."

"But Caroline--I need you here."

"Then start acting like it," Caroline spat back.

Cave paused for a long moment, and Caroline watched as his posture changed from angry to excited. He gave a nervous laugh, unfolding his arms. "Now that's what I'm talking about!" Cave said. She wasn’t serious, right? She couldn’t have been.

Caroline hesitated. "Sir?"

"That's what I call leadership! You just gotta take that same fire to your speeches, and you’ll be unstoppable,” said Cave. He reached out to grab her arm, gesturing outward. “Gotta hand it to you Caroline, that was convincing. You scared me for a minute there. Good work. "

"I meant it."

Cave gave another nervous laugh, folding his arms back up again. He took a few breaths to steady himself, but instead started to cough, first once and then several times in violent succession. He waved out a hand and Caroline pressed into it a handkerchief. He held it up to his mouth and when it came away, spots of blood dotted it.

When the coughing faded, he wheezed for a few long moments, staring down at his bedsheets. Then before Caroline could say anything else, Cave Johnson started to cry.

At first it was just a few tears, silently streaming down his face and dropping onto his chest. Plink. Plink. He didn’t even bother to wipe them away.

"Sir?" said Caroline, softening a little. She walked to the side of his bed, leaning down.

“Oh Caroline--” he said, wiping his face with the bleak hospital gown. His tears kept on streaming down, and he began to cry harder, the sobs intertwining with coughs. "I'm going to die. "

Caroline softened further. She folded her skirt underneath her and sat down at the edge of his bed.

"Come here," he said. "Please?" He patted the bed beside him. Naturally, being Cave Johnson, he had the best hospital bed that money could buy. Including making it wide enough for two people to sit semi-comfortably.

She swallowed her dignity and climbed on the bed with him. She laid her head on his chest and just let him stroke her hair until the coughing and the tears subsided.

“You’d never leave me, would you Caroline?” he eventually said, his body trembling, exhausted.

“Never, sir,” she whispered.  

  



End file.
